Kenton & Laura's Story

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0 height="100%"><tr> <td valign="top" width=204 BGCOLOR="#003333" TEXT="#F7F7FF" background="040d4c00dduajq.gif"> <div> <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="2" CELLSPACING="0" WIDTH="95" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="BOX" RULES="ALL" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 46 WIDTH="91"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="46" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="91" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></tD> </tR> </TABLE></div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div>          "Thou, Lord, in the beginning hast laid the foundation of the earth; and the heavens are the works of thine hands..." Hebrews 1:10</div> <div> <A HREF="id17.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Family"><U>Back to Family</U></A></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id174.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Ring!"><U>Even More Fotos</U></A><A HREF="id174.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Ring!"><U>!</U></A> <A HREF="id174.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Ring!"><U><IMG SRC="0cd0f0f0.gif" border=0 width="15" height="15" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></U></A></div> <bR> </td> <td valign="top" BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#003333" FACE="Copperplate Gothic Bold" ><B>The Hacklemans</B></FONT> <FONT SIZE="1" COLOR="#333399" FACE="Arial" >    |    </FONT> <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Hacklemans"><U>Home</U></A></div> <div>                                                   </div> <div> <B>Kenton & Laura's Story</B></div> <div> Compiled by Kenton and Beta Steryous & Laura</div> <div> It began May 2001, although at the time none were aware of any “beginnings.” That's when Kenton's sister, Carolee, arrived in Indianapolis to fulfill a year's commitment with CharacterLink, an ISP operated by the Institute in Basic Life Principles, a ministry under the leadership of Bill Gothard.</div> <div> <B>How God Used Carolee</B></div> <div> The Kenton and Laura story involves Carolee, the person God used to bring together their two paths. Carolee met Laura shortly after arriving in Indianapolis when Laura came to her room in search of Carolee's roommate. Laura introduced herself, and Carolee recognized Laura from a very brief encounter years before at a conference in Knoxville.</div> <div> Carolee was in Indianapolis for only a month before her responsibilities with CharacterLink were relocated to Flint, Mich. About the same time, Laura returned home from Indianapolis after completing a year's training in counseling troubled youth. Home for Laura was in the Detroit area, just <IMG SRC="344fac50.jpg" border=0 width="250" height="197" ALT="Carolee with the Hackleman's at Mackinac Island" ALIGN="RIGHT" HSPACE="8" VSPACE="8">a 90-minute drive from Flint. Soon after her graduation, Laura began traveling to Flint where she worked as a volunteer in a bookstore in the same building as Carolee. Their acquaintance from Indianapolis was resumed, and gradually matured into a close friendship.</div> <div> In just a few months, the Hackleman family became Carolee's family away from home. In September, the Hacklemans invited Carolee to go with them to Mackinac Island where they treated her as one of their own. It was at this time that Carolee told her mother, Beta, that she wished Kenton could meet Laura--she thought they would really “mesh.” Carolee was very appreciative of Laura's character and love for the Lord, and grateful for their friendship. For that reason, her mother put “a lot of stock” in what she said. Beta was confident in Carolee's assessment of a young lady, and knew that Carolee would have Kenton's best interest at heart.</div> <div> <B>Kenton's Mother</B></div> <div> After the Mackinac trip Beta sent a note to Laura thanking her for hosting Carolee. As time passed she began praying that if it was God's will for Kenton and Laura to meet He would make that possible. Then one day Laura sent Beta an e-mail inquiring about decorating with grapevines, as she knew Beta had experience working in a floral shop. Thus, correspondence between the two ladies began.</div> <div> Laura remembers that Carolee did <I>not</I> carry a camera around with her, let alone take pictures! But since she had a number of her own Mackinac trip photos, she shared some with Carolee's Mom. This may have been the first time Kenton ever saw a picture of Laura, because he had to help his mom open the e-mail attachments. Now some may think that Beta had an ulterior motive for her correspondence, but Laura has always noticed sincerity in her letters. Laura saw her as the godly mentor she'd wanted for years, and couldn't wait to see her face-to-face. It seemed it might happen at Thanksgiving 2001, because Beta was tentatively planning a trip to visit her daughter in Flint. But... plans changed.</div> <div> <B>The First Meeting</B></div> <div> In early November, Kenton decided he'd travel to Flint for Thanksgiving with Carolee. Of course, Carolee was very thankful to have family visit her!<IMG SRC="34ae2cc0.jpg" border=0 width="226" height="204" ALT="Kenton at Thanksgiving 2001" ALIGN="LEFT" HSPACE="8" VSPACE="8"> And it happened that the Hacklemans had already invited her to spend Thanksgiving Day with them! So when she informed the Hacklemans that her brother was coming, they extended a Thanksgiving invitation to him.</div> <div> Laura had heard very little about Kenton, other than that he was Carolee's older brother. When her Dad asked her a few questions about him, she admits that it made her wonder for a <I>moment</I> if something might come of the visit. Laura reports that when introduced on Wednesday evening, there were no sparks or flying hearts, and as the visit progressed, this did not change. Over the two-day visit, she gathered enough information to know that Carolee was blessed with a godly brother. But most important, by looking at their lives it was evident that they had godly parents.</div> <div> Indeed, Thanksgiving was special! Kenton and Carolee felt very much at home and enjoyed the visit. In fact, after leaving on Friday, Carolee called to ask if the two could return for the balance of the weekend. Meanwhile, Laura says she was “clueless” as to the motivation for the return, but was just grateful for another opportunity to be with Carolee!</div> <div> <B>The Big Step</B></div> <div> The same night Kenton returned to Virginia, he expressed to his parents his desire for family prayer over the possibility of speaking with Laura's father about getting to know Laura. It was a fearful thing for Kenton to consider: how in the world a guy in Virginia can get to know a girl in Michigan when their paths never cross, and their families have never met. Kenton's mind was set in gear at this point trying to visualize how it could come about. Beta remembered Proverbs 16:9, “A man's heart deviseth his way: but the LORD directeth his steps.”</div> <div> The family prayed for more than a week and then agreed Kenton should walk through the open door. The following notation is recorded in Beta's journal:</div> <div> <I>We spent some time in prayer after eating tonight, and it was a precious time.</I><I> </I><I>Mike gave his blessing on contacting Mr. Hackleman, so Kenton's mind is racing right now as to the “how” and “when” of the matter. He is handling it very maturely and believes God will give him courage at the right time and the right thing to say.</I></div> <div> The call to Mr. Hackleman was made on Friday, December 7, 2001. Kenton purposely planned the call when he knew Laura would not be present. She had left two days earlier to attend a wedding and spend time with one of her three sisters. She would be reunited with her family (including her twin brother) in Texas where the family planned to spend Christmas.</div> <div> Kenton was encouraged by the conversation and relieved that the first step was behind him. Mr. Hackleman indicated he would talk to Laura during Christmas vacation, once the family converged in Texas, and that he would be in touch with Kenton the first week of January. This would require major self-control and patience, as Kenton is a man of action!</div> <div> <B>Laura's Surprise</B></div> <div> Everyone knew that Laura was not seeking a husband, and was very content with her life and ministry opportunities. Consequently, when Laura's father spoke with her at Christmas, she found the news of Kenton's interest as a shock to her system!</div> <div> Laura had prayed for years, "Lord, I want you to be the Lord of my life. I yearn to be wholly committed to whatever you would like me to do with my life, right now, as a single. I beg of you Lord, protect me! Encompass me, in order that I may learn how to fall in love with you, making you my all. Lord, keep me away from any relationships with the opposite sex until I have learned what it is like to be content with the gift of singleness."</div> <div> She was truly content and had seen in so many ways how the Lord uses His children, when they allow Him to do a mighty work in their lives. God enabled her to experience such opportunities as mission trips, conferences, individual counseling, and hosting Bible studies. She had truly dedicated her future to the Lord, who knew her future. She had asked Him to reveal what He desired for her from year to year, and was determined not to get in God's way by trying to give Him a helping hand.</div> <div> On December 22, after her family arrived in Texas for the holidays, her dad took her on an errand. Before they got to the first stop sign, he began preparing the "ground"! Then the conversation went something like this: "Laura, I got a call the other day. There's a young man who would like to court you."</div> <div> With skepticism in her voice Laura replied, "Really?" Her mind raced as she thought, who in the world is it? She began to realize that God had answered her prayer--she had learned to be content in the ways the Lord had been using her as a single. Silence filled the car until she said, "Do I know him?" For a brief moment she wondered whether anything would ever come of the Thanksgiving visit.</div> <div> "I think you might remember him."</div> <div> "Well... are you going to tell me?"</div> <div> "Ah, Kenton Steryous."</div> <div> Needless to say, from that point on, Christmas vacation was different for Laura. She decided to spend time hearing what God desired for her to do, and thus did not share the news with other family members for several days. She spent time sharing her heart with the Lord, meditating on scripture, compiling questions for her and for Kenton, and most importantly, waiting to hear from the Lord. The Lord transformed her heart during that time. She had never trusted Him in a way like this before. The direction and guidance He gave Laura all related to living a life of FAITH. She thought, "Have faith? Commit my ways to you? Trust in you with my whole heart? You mean Lord, you're not going to tell me 'yes' or 'no'?”</div> <div> <B>A Couple of Questions</B></div> <div> True to his word Mr. Hackleman called Kenton on January 4. He told Kenton that Laura was praying about the matter, and that he had a couple of questions. Mr. Hackleman wanted to be encouraging, and yet careful at the same time! He also told Kenton that he and his wife would like to make a trip to Virginia to talk with <IMG SRC="34f17d40.jpg" border=0 width="279" height="212" ALT="Getting acquainted" ALIGN="RIGHT" HSPACE="8" VSPACE="8">Kenton and to meet his parents.</div> <div> The “couple of questions” turned out to be four different sets of questions of about five questions each. Answering them took the rest of the month of January. After receiving a set, Kenton would sit down and immediately begin writing his answers and anticipating the next set! At the end of January, Mr. and Mrs. Hackleman visited Roanoke for two days. It was a delightful time of their getting to know Kenton's heart even better, and a time for the parents to get acquainted. Mr. Hackleman told Kenton he would be getting back in touch with him.</div> <div> Laura says that she really found rest in the Lord during January. One verse she clung to was Romans 10:17, "So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God." She continued to spend quality time in the Bible, wanting to hear from God. Then, in February, the Lord turned her focus to another verse on faith, Hebrews 11:1. Finally, during early February, after Laura had read all of Kenton's responses to the questions, she was asked to decide whether or not she wanted to pursue a relationship with Kenton. In this God remained faithful and directed her steps.</div> <div> <B>The Green Light</B></div> <div> On February 8, Kenton received a call from Mr. Hackleman giving the “green light” for Kenton to get to know Laura. It was at this point that they invited Kenton to Michigan for another visit--in fact, he made two trips to Detroit. After these two visits, Kenton had the Hacklemans' blessing. The only problem was his parents had never met Laura and she was unwilling to move ahead until that was accomplished. It was important to Laura for the two families to get to know each other, and for both sets of parents to bless the relationship.</div> <div> Beta recalls, that even at this point there was no emotional attachment on the part of Kenton. He simply desired to pursue the open door to see if it was of God or man. Laura, too, was extremely cautious in protecting her heart and emotions. There was a rule she set up from the beginning with Carolee--there would be no discussion about the matter between the two of them. Neither did Laura allow herself the pleasure of discussing the matter with friends. It was a matter between her and the Lord and her parents.</div> <div> <B>Making It Official</B></div> <div> The Steryous family decided to kill two birds with one stone--plan a trip to visit Carolee in Flint, and then go to Detroit where Kenton would join them. After visiting with <IMG SRC="34c21c00.jpg" border=0 width="289" height="192" ALT="Easter 2002 at 1068" ALIGN="LEFT" HSPACE="8" VSPACE="8">Carolee, Kenton's family (with the exception of their married son) arrived in Detroit on Friday, March 29. As it turned out, Easter 2002 would be a weekend neither of the families would ever forget!</div> <div> With the exception of their married daughter in California, the other Hackleman siblings arranged to be home for this weekend. This included a daughter who serves in Dallas with IBLP, one with the International Association of Character Cities headquartered in Oklahoma City, and a son working for Doug Phillips' Vision Forum in San Antonio.</div> <div> The Hacklemans' and Steryous' soon realized they all shared many interests, views, and a lively sense of humor that put both families at ease and created a wonderful backdrop for the rest of the weekend events.</div> <div> Soon after the Steryous' arrival, the parents went to a little coffee shop to confirm that they were in agreement in supporting the developing relationship between Laura and Kenton, and that it would have marriage as its goal. It was a profitable time, and time of bonding between the parents and discussing ways to facilitate a “long distance” relationship.</div> <div> By the time the parents returned, the young people had finished dinner preparations. After dinner, the families attended the Hacklemans' church for the Good Friday service. Following the pastor's message, communion was served by family unit. Beta remembers this sweet time together as the two families walked to the front of the church and shared communion together. Kenton and his father lead in prayer while Mr. Hackleman served the elements.</div> <div> After returning home, the families gathered for dessert and fellowship. Then, Laura, Kenton and their parents adjourned to the living room where Mr. Hackleman began the time with a few comments and then gave his “official” blessing on the courtship. In like manner, Kenton's father placed his blessing on the courtship. Kenton then expressed himself and posed a couple of questions. Laura shared her heart in a very forthright, but sweet-spirited way, setting the overall tone for this time.</div> <div> Questions were asked; questions were answered. Mr. Hackleman gave Kenton his blessing to pursue courtship with Laura with the intent of marriage, with all parties understanding that God could intervene at any time. But at this point, no one had any reason not to go forward. The sacred time concluded by all kneeling in a circle holding hands, and the two fathers offering prayer.</div> <div> <B>Glory to God</B></div> <div> From Laura's perspective, the weekend was a very special one to cherish, “God couldn't have blessed the new courtship any more than He saw fit to do over the short weekend. Oh, how good it is to <I>know </I>that I am in the midst of His will for my life! As time passes, I stand amazed at His handiwork within the relationship between Kenton and me. To God be all honor and glory!”</div> <div> <B>Next: The Ring</B></div> <div> In late, June Kenton went to the jeweler to pick up the diamond ring he'd previously ordered. Then, on July 4, 2002, he presented it to Laura and she accepted it.</div> <div> He had been looking forward to Laura's visit with eagerness, and at times felt as though he would burst with anticipation. But when he received the ring from the jeweler, his anticipation even grew greater. He had to have the ring in his possession for an entire week while showing it to no one, for he wanted Laura to be the first to see it, and wanted everyone else to see it for the first time on her finger.</div> <div> Kenton anxiously waited in the airport for Laura's July 3 arrival. After greeting her he presented her with a dozen red roses. He also had a small gift waiting for her in the car--a bottle of <I>Clinique</I><FONT SIZE="1" COLOR="#000000" FACE="Arial" >®</FONT> "Happy" perfume. They then lunched at Olive Garden, and that evening went to church where he had been asked to relate the story behind the National Anthem, <I>The Star Spangled Banner.</I></div> <div> After spending the night with Carolee, Laura left with Kenton for Monticello, home of President Thomas Jefferson. Before leaving, however, Kenton had another small gift waiting for Laura. This was a 14k gold necklace with a pearl and diamond pendant. He wrote her a note explaining his choice--gold <IMG SRC="353aa120.jpg" border=0 width="170" height="274" ALT="In the vineyard" ALIGN="RIGHT" HSPACE="8" VSPACE="8">because it must be taken through a refining process, and pearl as it requires just the right amount of time and friction to produce the lovely and pure object it is. These were the qualities that he saw in Laura-refined, lovely and pure.</div> <div> Upon arrival at Monticello, He told Laura they should first walk around a bit before actually touring the Jefferson home. Their walk led first to the vineyard on Monticello's south side. He explained to Laura that the vineyard was perhaps not the most beautiful part of Monticello, but it was certainly the most significant. Then he shared with Laura a little bit of his future ambitions, how many there were, how different they were from one another, and how it was impossible to know exactly what God would have him doing in the future. Next, he explained that as he looked into the future, despite all the various ambitions, there was one thing that was constant and sure, and something he could count on--Laura. Kenton told her that she was the one thing in his future that was as certain as time. It was then that he proposed marriage, and she accepted!</div> <div> Before placing the ring on her finger, however, he told how over 500 years ago, Maximilian I of Austria presented a gold band with a single diamond to his betrothed, Mary of Burgundy, to seal their love. Maximilian I placed it on the third finger of her left hand because, according to the ancient Egyptians, that finger contained the <I>vena amoris</I> (“vein of love”) that is believed to run directly to the heart. And so on the 4<FONT SIZE="1" COLOR="#000000" FACE="Arial" >th</FONT> of July, 2002, Kenton sealed their love by placing a <A HREF="id174.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Ring!"><U>diamond ring</U></A> on the third finger of Laura's left hand.</div> <div> <B>Significance of Monticello</B></div> <div> In a note to family members he explained the significance of the setting: 1) he wanted to propose in Virginia, because that will be Laura's new home; 2) he chose Monticello because it represents Virginia above and beyond any other place; 3) he chose for the proposal to be first on the agenda of their visit to signify that, on a human level, she is first and foremost in his life--everything else is second; 4) he chose to propose in the vineyard as it represents the absolute necessity for Christ to be the center of every marriage, as He is the vine and believers are the branches; and lastly, 5) he had chosen a three-stone engagement ring with the diamond on the left representing their past relationship, the one on the right representing their future relationship, and the center one always representing their current love for one another.<IMG SRC="34796ce0.jpg" border=0 width="150" height="206" ALT="The letter is out of the bottle!" ALIGN="LEFT" HSPACE="8" VSPACE="8"></div> <div> Later that evening, they celebrated with an engagement dinner at the Hotel Roanoke, where he had prearranged for the server to deliver a letter to Laura at the end of the meal. This, his engagement letter, was written on antique paper, rolled tightly, and placed in a bottle. When it was delivered, it took Laura a moment to realize what was going on. Kenton then took Laura to the lobby where he read it to her aloud.</div> <div> Finally, they concluded the day watching the Independence Day celebration--a perfect end to a perfect day. As the fireworks burst over downtown, there was an echo in his heart: he was engaged to his one and only, the woman of God's choice for his life. Patience had had her work, and he now felt complete and entire, wanting nothing. He was to become Laura's husband, and she, his wife. And by God's grace, they will not allow themselves ever to take that for granted.</div> <div> The wedding is set for Saturday, November 23rd, 2002.</div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> >><A HREF="id124.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Its Official!"><U><I>It's Official</I></U></A><I>--wedding fotos</I><A HREF="id124.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Its Official!"><U><IMG SRC="0cd0f0f0.gif" border=0 width="15" height="15" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></U></A></div> </td> </tr></table></body>